


D4 F4 G4

by Nellancholy



Category: BanG Dream! (Anime), BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, Gen, Smoking, Underage Smoking, based partially on my own experience of being a smoker, misaki gets an asthma attack: the fic, though i'm not particularly anti-smoking/tobacco or anything, yes the title is the chords to the intro of smoke on the water
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-14
Updated: 2018-05-14
Packaged: 2019-05-06 21:19:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14656443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nellancholy/pseuds/Nellancholy
Summary: Misaki develops a bad habit. But is it really that much worse for her than what her bandmates already put her through?





	D4 F4 G4

**Author's Note:**

> Partially inspired by [a piece of fanart by Tumblr user peachfuel](http://peachfuel.tumblr.com/post/173378510002),so trust me to take something joke-y and spin something angry and angsty about it.

Michelle (or for the moment,Misaki) took a long drag of the cigarette on her lip as a thin layer of snow formed around Live House Circle. The faint cold forming against her face contrasted the toasty warmth of the mascot suit and the burning,choking heat that filled her lungs. Her throat was used to it by now,but she doubted her lungs ever would be. Hell,she’d even gotten used to handling cigarettes while she had the Michelle suit on.

 

She reached up to her face,holding the cigarette butt between the thumb and featureless hand of the suit’s left arm. It almost looked like a peek-a-boo gesture. As she shook the ash off the end of the almost-depleted cigarette,her eyes met a young girl across the cafe square. They looked at each other for a moment,before the girl turned and jogged away.

 

Misaki took another drag,burning away the rest of the cigarette. If she’d had the Michelle head on already,that kid would be laughing happily at her. She held her breath for a moment,before exhaling a mouthful of fragrant,choking smoke. Leaning to the side,she spat the butt into a nearby trash can,before hoisting the costume head up and placing it on and heading inside for practice.

 

At least singing wasn’t one of Michelle’s jobs in Harohapi. Though the thought of Kokoro trying to sing with smoker’s lung gave her a good chuckle.

* * *

 

The sun shone brightly in the sky.

 

Birds flew overhead.

 

Misaki took a sip of her tea,before putting another cigarette to her lips and striking a spark on a plastic lighter.

 

Surprisingly,she never had any trouble getting them. She supposed she should be thankful that people seemed to see her as an adult.

 

“Those are bad for ya,you know. Like,really bad.” Hagumi piped up.

 

“Gee,really?” Misaki took a drag,paused a moment,and then exhaled in Hagumi’s general direction. “I didn’t know.”

 

“Well,they are. Like,like lung cancer,and…” Hagumi’s voice trailed off. Maybe,against all odds,she’d picked up on Misaki’s tone for once.

 

“ _Of course I fucking know they’re bad for me,you annoying little pest. I know what I’m filling my fucking lungs with. I know I’ll probably be dead by thirty,and do you know how much of a hand you have in it?_ ”

 

All of that flashed through Misaki’s mind in less than a second as she took another drag.

 

But she didn’t say it. She never did.

 

Every time something like that almost spilled out of her mouth,the numbing dizziness that nicotine brought seemed to push it back down.

 

Wasn’t that a good thing? Wasn’t it? The last thing she wanted was to get really angry and wipe the smiles off her bandmates’ faces for good…

 

Sighing,smokelessly for once,Misaki stubbed out the half-burnt cigarette out in an ashtray,knocking back her tea and standing up.

 

“...Come on Hagumi,we’d better get going. Kokoro and Kaoru and Kanon are probably waiting for us…”

* * *

 

Michelle ran her hands over the DJ console. With the help of little rubber pads sewn into the suit’s palms,operating the fiddly little sliders and switches still wasn’t exactly easy,but it was definitely doable with the loads of practice she put herself through.

 

Melody filled her ears as the band struck up their first song of the day’s rehearsal. After some false starts,Misaki wholeheartedly admitted that her bandmates were a real joy to work with onstage,what with the passion and imagination they brought to each performance. It was just the whole…offstage part of them that was much more of a handful to deal with. And when you had a little box full of sticks to help take the edge off,every little inconvenience and annoyance started to look like an edge.

 

She was also thankful that her job didn’t demand much in the way of technique,just attention. Manage the output of two guitars and two microphones,fade in her samples at the right time…

 

Time to focus on her work now. Misaki took in a deep,somewhat strained breath,which didn’t seem like cause for concern. From experience,mascot suits did tend to…complicate the process of breathing a bit. She inhaled again.

 

Exhaled.

 

She blinked.

 

Something wasn’t right.

 

Her lungs…weren’t filling like they were supposed to. You know,when you breathe.

 

Inhale.

 

Exhale.

 

Inhale…exhale.

 

Quickly,Misaki pulled all the volume sliders down,causing the audio to cut out as she took a few steps back.

 

“ _Michelle?! What’s wrong?_ ”

 

She had to pull the head off.

 

She had to get more air in.

 

But she couldn’t,not here. Not in front of…them.

 

Inhale…exhale.

 

inhale…exhale.

 

inhale,exhale.

 

Misaki doubled over,slumping to the ground. She felt hands grab ineffectually at the shoulders of the suit.

 

“ _Michelle,no! G-get up,Michelle!_ ”

 

inhaleexhale.

 

inhaleexhale

 

inhaleexhaleinhaleexhale _inhaleexhaleinhaleexhale_ ** **inhaleexhaleINHALEEXHALE**** -

* * *

 

“...isaki…”

 

“Misaki,Misaki…!”

 

Misaki shook her head. Miraculously,she could breathe again. Not easily,but she could breathe.

 

She opened her eyes. Momentarily,a pale blue filled her vision.

 

She blinked a few times,the solid pool of blue quickly resolving into Kanon’s teary face.

 

It took a few more moments to realize that she was sitting up in one of the cubicles of Circle’s washroom.

 

“Misaki,Misaki,oh my god,oh my god,thank goodness you woke up…” Kanon pitched forward,burying her face into Misaki’s chest as she sobbed.

 

Misaki breathed in again. The moist,slightly malodorous air felt like every single molecule of it was more precious than anything else she could imagine. “I…K-kanon,what…happened?”

 

“Y-you just collapsed out of nowhere…” Kanon sniffled. “…me and the suits managed to get you out of Michelle and in here…”

 

“I…see. T-thank you…” Still straining for air,Misaki weakly stroked her hand across Kanon’s back.

 

“...I…I…” Kanon’s face scrunched up,tears oozing out of the corners of her eyes. “I…I know you can take care of yourself,but…but…you can’t! O-okay?!”

 

Misaki blinked,just a bit bewildered at Kanon. It was…uncommon to see even this tiny bit of assertiveness from her. She leaned in,pressing her face against Kanon’s hair. She knew what Kanon was going to tell her. And deep down,she knew she’d have to listen.

 

“W-what if you don’t wake up the next time,Misaki?! What am I going to tell them about Michelle? _What am I going t-to tell them about Okusawa Misaki?!_ ” Her arms squeezed Misaki like a vice,drawing a grunt from her.

 

“K-kanon…you’re…right. I’m…sorry.” There was nothing more to say. Nothing more she could say. Sometimes you had problems. And sometimes…the ways you chose to deal with them weren’t quite right. Or at least safe. And maybe sometimes…the friends that were there for you could help you find better ways.

 

“No,M-misaki…I’m sorry. I shouldn’t push you,but…” Kanon sighed.

 

“N-no,Kanon. Like I said,you’re…right. I…I have to stop…stop doing…that.” Misaki still couldn’t address it directly,but she didn’t need to. They both knew what was going to happen.

 

Putting her arm around Kanon firmly,she stood up,allowing both of them to walk out of the cubicle. Reaching into her hoodie pocket,Misaki picked out the little paper box. With just a moment’s thought,she crushed it in her fist,dropping it into a nearby trash can.

 

“Um…” Kanon continued. “Um,the suits did already call the paramedics,s-so…um,you’ll…you’ll go with them,right?”

 

Misaki sighed. Somehow,her breaths felt just a little easier already.

 

“ _Yes. Yes I will._ ”


End file.
